I have always had nicknames, and (until relatively recently) always despised them. Starting from some guy in reception calling me 'Hat-trick', all the way up to current variations, welcome to a timeline of what people have chosen to call me:

Hat-Trick

Started in reception, and is (for a five-year-old) at least a relatively good pun. Alas, my footballing ability never quite lived up to the name, so it had to go.

Paddy

When I lived in Hong Kong and heard this name for the first time, I was convinced that it was the most foul thing someone could call me. I hated it, the way it sounded, how it looks written down... Unfortunately, I made the mistake of telling people this, so naturally it stuck. I'm actually rather fond of it these days, though not many use it.

Obi-Wan Quinnobi

The less said about this nickname from Malaysia, the better, I feel.

P-A-Double-D (Lookin' so Lovely)

To the tune of Snoop-Dogg's 'D-O-Double-G', an inspired take.

PQ

Not a nickname, per se, but notable as I've only been called it by the most important people in my life. Strange, that...

Patters

And so we move on to college, where (unless my memory fails me) Ricky gave me this name. Rather annoyingly, I was going out with 'Pitters' and the time, so we were 'Pitters and Patters'. Alas, I actually quite like this one, there's something inherently friendly and fun about it.

(The) Maverick

A work nickname from the Stenlake-era, due to my (alleged) rebellious nature on the closes at work. Stuck around for a year or so, disappeared along with the attitude... ;)

Big P

Another Stenlake creation, sometimes altered into 'Big Papa P', and is the nickname currently I am most known by. And I have to say, I quite like it - as I explained to someone when they asked if it wasn't offensive - "you'd have to be pretty stupid to not notice I'm a big man".

P-Dawg

Credit goes to Alex here at Heriot-Watt for this one. I'm undecided, and we shall see.

Since Urban Dictionary won't have us, here in full glory is the full definition of 'Playing T-Ball', the worst game in the world.

Playing T-Ball
A sport or game played almost exclusively by women, analogous of a relationship in which one partner openly declares love or other strong feelings for their other half (especially early on, before feelings are mutual).

Women are masters of playing t-ball, and many will sieze upon a new relationship as an opportunity to play, posting messages on social networking sites, sending texts, making phone calls etc.

Men should not play t-ball. They will always be bested by their female counterparts, and will never win. A man who plays t-ball is one who becomes easily attached to a new partner, affectionately referencing her to anyone who will listen. He will also find himself single in a matter of weeks.

Named after the IRL sport of t-ball, a game that is so easy and ridiculous that no self-respecting man would dare play it.

A: Hey, did you hear? Aaron got himself a new girlfriend!
B: No shit! He's playing T-Ball all over Facebook!
A: Oh no! She's gonna dump his ass!
A+B: Guys can't play T-Ball!

I know, I know. This blog has an update turnaround similar to that of the Arcadia, with much less class and a whole lot less money. Alas, we begin once more - and there will be a rigid (or at least more rigid) timetable for updates as I further distance myself from everyone by going to Uni, maybe one a week? Anyway...

Here I am, 2am on a Saturday (with work looming in a matter of hours) and I can't sleep. It may be something to do with the heat, or a guest loudly watching television in the lounge, but I think it's something more. That's right, readership, your glorious Editor- (Commander?) in-Chief has himself some lady woes. Though, I stress, not particularly complex or interesting ones.

Keen-eyed readers may have noticed a previous entry, though it was only on the homepage for a mere two months, detailing 50 things I wanted to tell someone. And I would like this opportunity to add one more thing, you are a waste of time. You took months from me, opportunities I wasted, evenings I chose texting over talking. You are a time thief and I just won't ake it anymore. I change my opinion, I won't miss you.

So I still hate Facebook, right, and nothing more so than people 'liking' pages that are a one line quip or quote. There are some good pages, I can even understand expressing your appreciation of a celebrity - but for the love of God please stop liking pages that express emotions or feelings. We get it, you want to show your ex (normally) how you feel, or at least wish to appear, and it's more 'subtle' than a status (or, God forbid a conversation), but it just makes you look needy, unoriginal and just... boring!

Oh... Cryptic crosswords are badass. Seriously, the rush of completion is far more than many games I've played recently (and I just 3-Starred the first three worlds of Angry Birds)!

Ciao.

Current internet status in my flat:

None

As I write this, I'm sat in an internet cafe: a place I'm pretty sure I swore never to visit. "Who," I can imagine myself asking "doesn't have a computer with internet in their own home in this day and age?" Well, the answer would appear obvious now. Poor people like me.

A lot has changed since my last blog update (note to self: write these more often), so let's get down to it:

Housing

I have now moved out of my Dad's house, and live in Ocean Village with Alex 'C-Hippy' Drew, in a little flat close to The Triangle. We pay far too much rent, and I we break a lot of things as a result of a combination of late nights, early mornings, and a poor collection of friends. And we wouldn't have it any other way.

'Career'

Yes, I still work at McDonald's in Ower, and surprisingly, yes, I am still enjoying the job that I do. I was promoted in October to a Shift-Running Manager after an intensive 3-day course at the McDonald's University in East Finchley, London. Basically, I've gone from working my arse off, to working my arse off and encouraging others to do the same. Good times.

Relationships

Nothing to report.

Life Plans

Some big things in the pipeline, more on this as the story develops at a later date.

And that's all (as I'm paying by the hour) - so Happy New Year iPQ readers, let's make it a good one!